Hope In Loss

May the miracle of my experience, bring you hope! Two weeks ago, I just lost my little dog. His name was Dexter and he was 16 years old. Except for losing my late husband, I am devastated beyond measure, experiencing such brokenhearted and intense sorrow. Intense sobbing continues, especially while I am writing this. He was a Cairn Terrier, like the Wizard of Oz dog, Toto. He walked me down the “yellow brick road” with fierce devotion and unconditional love. I had never experienced this before. He was there for me when I had brain surgery. He stayed by my right side on the bed, refusing to leave. My family had to pick him up and take him outside to go to bathroom or to eat or drink. He would immediately run back to me and jump on the bed and lay right beside me.  My entire recovery lasted  a long time and Dexter refused to be away from me, all that time. He was a vigilant watch dog…keeping me safe for all these years. Till the very end of his life he would lay at my right side on the recliner.  I have not put away his blankets and bowls or toys because that means he is gone forever and I can’t bear that yet. I am grateful for 16 wonderful years with Dexter and that I have my beloved son back in my life. I am a compulsive overeater and bulimic. It is a miracle that I am not binging and purging! I have binged and purged several times a day throughout my life and all its hardships for about 54 years. By the grace of a power greater than me, I have been abstinent for the past 3 months and all through Dexter’s death. I have incredible memories and even as I continue to grieve my loss of him, my God is, and is able to give me abstinence, one day at a time. For that I am grateful!